values
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Personal Values - The foundation of Lifetime Goals
by Wayne Burleson
We all have basic feelings inside of us that make us feel good about doing certain
activities. We enjoy accomplishing certain projects. Personal values are all of those
important things we believe in, feel, and think about for ourselves. Values are not goals. Goals are something we intend to accomplish in the future. Values are deeper feelings that we get excited about when accomplishing particular projects and doing certain activities.
Certain personal values are common to most people. The values of wanting to do better
financially, wanting peace of mind, wanting to become healthier, wanting a close
relationship with family and friends are common values held by most everybody. However, we
are all different.
For instance I just happen to like to build agricultural fences. I find that most people
don't see fence building as this enjoyable journey as I do. To most people the word fence
brings out the feelings of hard work, sweat, cuts, blisters and a sore back.
I love fencing because fencing means outdoors, physical activities that make me healthier,
working with the land that I love, and pride of building something that will outlast my
lifetime.
You see, the activity of fence building accomplishes many of my basic personal values. I
get to work with rural people (the value of meeting and working with honest people).
I get to live outdoors (the value of seeing and improving the land, the soil, and the
animals that graze there).
I get to help people improve their land (the value of accomplishing something that gives me
a feeling of worth and fulfillment, and the value of respect from others by building a good
reputation).
Lifetime goals must be in alignment with your personal values or you will have the feeling
of emptiness, unfulfillment, or simply not enjoying your journey. Most everybody would
like less stress in their life. This means that they want the value of inner peace in
their daily life. Yet how many people end up buying that new vehicle, new home, or
entertainment gear thinking that they have just bought peace and happiness into their
lives? All too often the buying of stuff accomplishes a short term good feeling, but in
the long run the enthusiasm wears off and all this stuff ends up moving them away from the
inner peace that they were so desperately seeking. It's the old saying, "Money can't buy
happiness."
My son has a brand new car which he dearly loves and now he has to moonlight to make all
his payments. He has reached the goal to drive this beautiful bright red, sporty looking
car. But his free time is almost gone. He is now stuck with high payments in an
upside-down loan, where the car is depreciating much faster than the principle on the loan.
I believe that if he had understood what was really important to him in life, his
personal values, he may have calculated that this new purchase would take him away from his
values not toward them. Well, we all learn by doing.
A wise person learns from their mistakes. An even wiser person learns by watching other
people make mistakes. In other words, don't follow sheep over the hill - you can't see
where they are going. Try visualizing your future, set lifetime goals, stay flexible, keep
an eye open for opportunities and carefully plan your journey to take you where you really
want to go. A planned journey which accents your values is the key to a happy life.
How do you find your personal values? Try looking over the following list of values and
identify which ones mean something important to you: family, friends, security, money,
meaningful work, free time, low stress, good health, long life, quality free time,
cleanliness, possessions, money in the bank, inner peace, wisdom, smiles and laughter,
family harmony, honesty, fun, western way of life, happiness, positive attitude, helping
others, self sufficiency, independence, or the freedom to do anything you want to do. Your
values identify who you really are.
Make up your own list of personal values.
Next from your value list, pick your top ten values. These are the important things that
you believe in, think about for yourself, and have deep meaning to you. Once you have
chosen what matters most to you, it just makes sense to now match your activities to your
own value list. In other words, your values in life must be in harmony with your lifetime
goals.
For example, if inner peace is high on your value list, it makes no sense to be so busy
with work that you have very little time off to enjoy life. You are probably in need of
reassessing your activities and you should think about where to downscale your commitments.
Quality of life should be more important than the quantity of stuff you have to do and
have to take care of. When your values are not in alignment with your daily activities,
life feels negative. To reverse this situation, try changing something drastically. Try
busting a rut. Go ahead and identify your top ten values and make sure your lifetime goal
(the future) is heading you on a journey you really want.
A young person from one of our goal setting workshops in Canada summed up all of this value
stuff by writing, "Do less and do it better. Enjoy the time you have. Hang on to dreams."
Your personal values should be the foundation of your lifetime goals.
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