Food for
Thought
This section contains 3
entries at the present:
Crazy
English - a
fanciful and sometimes poetic look at the difficulties of
going from print to sound and meaning in the English
language.
English
language changes in Europe
(this page) - you just have to read it to get it.
English
is Tough Stuff - "The Chaos"
English
language changes in Europe
The European Commission
has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the EU rather than German, which was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase in
plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish."
In the first year, S
will replace the soft C. Sertainly this will make the sivil
servant jump with joy. The hard C will be dropped in favor
of the K. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing
publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome
PH will be replaced with the F. This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 percent shorter.
In the third year,
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent Es in the
language is disgraceful and that they should go
away.
By the fourth yar peopl
wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing TH with Z and W
with V.
During ze fifth yar, ze
unesesary O kan be dropd from vords kontaining OU and
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz yar, ve
vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls
or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM
TRU!
AND ZEN VE WIL TAK OVER
ZE VORLD!!!
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