Crystal Clear, Razor Sharp

Trouble in paradise

I said before that when Julie gets too stressed she is difficult to live with. Lately she has developed the annoying habit of bossing me around. She feels out of control in her life, so she decides to rule mine. She thinks she’s my mom.

I like to leave myself sticky notes with reminders on them, because it sometimes helps. Sometimes. Then I usually forget to take them down. If she is in a foul mood she will spot them and ask if I remembered whatever it was I was trying to remember. She checks up on me to see if I have eaten dinner, asks me what homework I have and suggests that I make my bed. A few weeks ago she even suggested, “Shouldn’t you be getting to bed if you have to get up early?”

Last semester we got along so well, we did everything together. And even at the beginning of this semester things were good. It seemed to work perfectly – we had the same schedule in the morning, but we weren’t in each other’s way. We would take turns in the bathroom and never fought over the mirror.

Maybe this is why I feel so lonely. I don’t have a close friend here, and it’s true. Most of the girls around me are sweet, and I consider myself fairly charismatic, so I get along with all of them. And despite our rougher moments I get along with Jules too. They are all my friends, but I have yet to find an ally. There isn’t one person I can truly trust. I haven’t told anyone (in person at least) about the Matt drama. I saw him with his new girly today. Bastard.

I don’t know what I need – a friend, a man, what? But I need something . . .