Crystal Clear, Razor Sharp

What now?

This has been a productive few days. Being home made me feel, peaceful. Not happy, but peaceful. Seeing the boys, finding out my sister has been sneaking in Mom’s makeup and seeing Mom prance about the house in her new sweater made me feel comfortable.

I haven’t told you about my family. I’m one of the few people I know whose parents are still together, and I consider myself lucky. I have two little brothers, they’re twins, and a little sister. I’m the oldest. I love my parents, but I haven’t talked to them much this semester. I just get lost in all I have to do; I work and I play and forget until it’s too late to call, but I’ll do it tomorrow. And then tomorrow, and then tomorrow.

I obviously couldn’t talk to them about how I am feeling now, they aren’t very open minded about such things, but that’s what I have this blog for.

I have one week of classes left, and then its finals week. I said I would answer my questions before the last class was out, and I still intend to do that. I still feel about the same, a little lost and lonely, but not in the same desperate way. I don’t have answers, but I think I’m closer.