Boys lie: I’m a
she without a he

BY CYNTHIA KIRKHAM

Boys lie! While I don’t usually like cheesy bumper sticker phrases, I love this one because it’s true. Boys — or men, as they sometimes think they deserve to be called — lie all the time.
It’s in their nature, especially when making a commitment to do something.
I can think of no better example than my ex-counterpart, who made a commitment to argue with me in this column for the semester, got free lunches and dinners for a week, his picture on the front page of the paper, and then took off without even so much as a goodbye to me.
Boys, you know you’ve all done this to a woman. You ask if you can do something for her, promise to do it for a period of time, and then leave when you get what you really wanted in the first place — free food and a little fame.
I called this particular boy to see if there was anything we could work out. After all, he had given me a lot of good ammo, and I had my next attack all planned. Like a boy, he never even returned my call.
This is where a weaker woman might think she had done something wrong or offended the tyke in some way. I am under no such dillusions.
The boy left because he couldn’t handle working with a good-looking, intelligent woman. I mean, not only was I right, but I was his boss.
Anyone who paid attention to the drivel in his column might remember reading that he views a woman’s brain as important as her body. But remember, boys lie.
The boy assumed that because I am attractive, because I love shopping and bare mid-drifts, and because I don’t need a boy to hold my hand through a study session, I am not interested in classes or grades — just a little “extra-curricular hanky-panky” now and then.
Well, if he hasn’t dropped out of school, and he’s not afraid to read this, he’s in for a surprise. I am no dumb blonde. I am extremely attentive in class and happen to pull a 3.83 GPA. I am simply not stupid enough to buy a $50 book and shove it under my bed.
This boy lied. He doesn’t value a woman’s mind anymore than any other boy. He doesn’t even notice women’s minds, or he would have noticed mine rather than insinuating I didn’t have one. He judged the book by its cover, and when the material got