Many too young for life-long vow

By Melissa Nielson
UNIVERSITY JOURNAL

I was born into the Utah culture, and I understand it is an unwritten law that one must be married before the age of 25 or he or she becomes a menace to society.
I am not trying to argue that fact. It is simply disturbing to hear single 21-year-old girls use the phrase “old maid” and “spinster” to describe themselves.
Eighteen and 19-year-old girls are getting married more and more every day, or so it seems.
Maybe I am just noticing, but it feels as if, more commonly, wedding bells are ringing in my face.
I am not saying it can’t be done. People fall in love and get married at young ages all the time, especially in the great state of Utah.
Living examples are my sisters, who were all married young and are perfectly happy now.
As a child, watching my siblings vow to love and honor their mates at age 19 seemed perfectly acceptable.
I didn’t realize just how young they were back then.
I am now the age in which my older sisters decided to be joined with their hubbies in matrimony. I finally understand how incredibly young they really were.
The annoying detail of this widely accepted practice may not be the age of the participants but more so the rapid progression of the courtship and engagement process.
So, Sally notices a sparkling new diamond on Suzie’s hand.
“You’re engaged, huh? So how long have you two been dating?”
Suzie foolishly replies, “It’ll be three weeks this Saturday!”
Are you kidding me? Can you really know someone in three weeks?
Now, maybe those three weeks were spent joined at the hip with the constant companionship of their new love. Even then, how can people make such a rash, life-altering decision based on a few weeks? Sure, I can imagine the blind excitement of being in love.
These young individuals, I fear, are simply in love with love.
The fairy tale romance, filled with beauty and passion, is blinding in the first stages of a relationship.
In a relationship, there is a type of honeymoon stage where nothing the new love does is ever wrong, and he or she is wonderful in every way.
A relationship is built on trust, and it takes time to gain and exchange trust between two people.

 

It is just human nature to not reveal every little detail about one’s self until that trust is gained.
Just by associating with someone and seeing him or her in all different lights and situations brings out the colors and traits of a personality.
All I ask of the people who are looking into the quick engagement is to just be careful and make sure you know the person you are marrying. Divorce rates are too high to risk rolling over in the morning and thinking to yoursef, “Who is this person? What did I do?”
Don’t compromise your own personal goals and ideas about life to get married young.
Now to make things clear, don’t think I am a bitter little Utah girl who has never been in love.
That does not describe me.
I just am wondering how the ambition of the college-bound woman diminishes at the sight of a diamond ring and a man by her side.
It makes me wonder if the goal of a college degree is merely an excuse to widen the dating pool.
I am beginning to wonder if SUU should look into financing a degree in Landing a Husband. It would be all too successful at this university.
College is about discovering your talents and dreams. Accomplish the task of finding yourself before you expect someone else to find you.
Melissa Neilsen is a senior staff writer for the University Journal. She can be reached at melpisspot@yahoo.com