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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
The Chaos of Nearing Finals
Wow, it seems like the year has all but blown past. Life is becoming a mass
of days that blur together and any sense that used to exist has been tossed
to the seven winds. The ride has been a long one, especially recently, but I
can honestly say that I have been having so much fun along the way. School
has been a new challenge that I'm still learning how to deal with in the
best way possible, I've learned new ways of dealing with people, and my list
of random skills has nearly doubled in just the past few months.
In all honesty I can say that college has been one of the best experiences
in my life, and I've also had a lot of great experiences with the people I
know. Thanks to my friends here at college I've grown into a person that I
can honestly say that I am beginning to really love. All of my life I've
struggled with accepting myself and being happy with my appearance, and I've
never really had people around me who have given me cause to rethink that.
My parents, of course, have always told me that I'm a beautiful person
inside and out, but do we ever really believe it when parents tell us those
kinds of things? I didn't used to, but the last time my dad told me he was
proud of me I couldn't help but think, "You know, I'm proud of me, too." I
didn't even think that when I did Taming of the Shrew, and that was
supposedly my crowning moment. People like Amberle and Rachel have shown me
my own strengths and taught me that beauty isn't always as the world sees
it. I guess you could say I've learned we're all beautiful, it's just a
matter of whether or not we accept that beauty and allow it to blossom. It
will take me a while to really accept myself and everything about me, but...
Well, at least now I am on the right path.
Of course, life is going to hit a point soon where I'm going to be ripping
my hair out and want to run around screaming. Finals are coming up within
the next two weeks, and I can't help but be nervous. I've not done so well
this semester at staying on top of assignments and doing my absolute best,
and I'm worried that I'm not doing so well. Life is stressful, you see, when
you have a scholarship that you have to work for, and so this summer I'm
going to probably throw myself into work just in case my grades aren't good
enough to keep my scholarship. I'm...terrified that I'm not going to succeed
here at college, but I know that I have no other choice. I won't let myself
fail. Next semester and for the last two weeks I am going to attack my
classes with a will, but I don't know how this semester will turn out. I'm
not overtly optimistic, but I am willing to accept whatever consequences
come of my being an idiot. If I could give one piece of advice at this
moment it would be to limit your stupidity to less expensive things.
Good luck as you prepare for finals. Remember to get registered for your
classes if you haven't already, and do your best!
-Kirstin Bone
Posted at 8:14 AM |