[00:00:02] HEY EVERYONE THIS IS Lynn Vartan and you listening to the A.P.E.X Hour KSUU Thunder 91.1 In this show you get more personal time with the guests who visit Southern Utah University from all over. Learning more about their stories and opinions beyond their presentations on stage. We will also give you some new music to listen to and hope to turn you on abuse down. And. You can find us here every Thursday at 3pm or on the Web at suu.edu/apex. But for now, welcome to this week's show here on Thunder 91.1
[00:00:48] Hey welcome everyone. Happy Valentine's Day. It's Valentine's Day here at Southern Utah University and we are so very happy to be here celebrating. We had an awesome event this morning and we're here to tell you all about this great group. And we have two awesome representatives from the group the group you may have heard of or maybe it's news to you is the Mama Dragons. So, on this Valentine's Day I'd like to welcome my guests and maybe you can just start by telling us your name and then we'll start talking about the Mama Dragons. So, who would like to go first.
[00:01:26] Hi my name is Lisa Frei and I live in Santa Clara Utah. And thanks for having us. Yeah that thing has been a good day.
[00:01:34] Good day and more to come.
[00:01:36] So yeah, it's been a good day. My name is Rachel Ellis and I'm also from Santa Clara. We came to the cold north.
[00:01:45] Yeah. So, you guys are moms living in Utah and you're part of this great organization. So, the group that we're talking about today is called Mama Dragons. And I mean it's really gained some national reputation national press. I think it's been featured in some national news outlets and everything but I'd love for you to kind of just give our audience a snapshot of what the group is and its mission and all of that.
[00:02:13] Great. Well first of all let me just talk to you about the name Mama Dragons. Yes, times people wonder where that came from and it was a term that Meg (inaudible) used when she had written a blog post about after her 13-year-old son had come out of the closet. And this is her description that I just want to read to you because I like how she says it. I've always been a mother bear. Once I found out about John that didn't seem fair enough of a title. There is a whole new level of protection that had come over me. I now call myself a Mama Dragons. I could literally breathe fire if someone hurt my son. Dragons have talons scales claws fangs and they can fly. I will use all of these resources. If someone were to hurt John so we are circling our wagons around him. But I know we can't protect him from everything and as a Mama Dragons that is the hardest part of this. I don't know what the future holds. I just know that there will be love. So that's where the term came from. And it actually there was a group of women who met together basically just messaging each other online and it was a very small few members and.
[00:03:21] Utah women.
[00:03:22] Utah women. Utah women with a similar background in their similar religious backgrounds. So, they started together and they just added people as they met people and it turned into a Facebook group and I actually joined it probably when there was maybe 50 to 100 people in it. Where we knew each other quite well but now we have we're getting close to 3000 members. I think there's about 28 hundred right now.
[00:03:50] That's amazing. Wow. And now just for some people who may be wondering Is or is it all Utah members or did you go into other states and how does that work.
[00:04:01] It's no longer just Utah. In fact, we have members from all over the world and all over the country.
[00:04:07] Wow. International.
[00:04:09] Yeah. And so, we. Our roots are in Mormonism but we welcome all mothers now who want to learn and need community.
[00:04:23] That's very interesting. I know we'll get into more of that as it goes on the website. The easiest way to find out if anybody listening wants is the website and it's just it's Mama Dragons dot com or dot org.
[00:04:35] I can't remember offhand it's a good question. I can get to that you can google Mama Dragons. Just google Mama Dragons and I think you'll find this.
[00:04:45] And so we talked a little bit earlier about some of the resources and some of the things that are offered. For example, on the website there's just tons and tons that there's a blog with individual stories there's resources. But can you tell. Talk a little bit about the organization of the group. The Facebook aspect of it. Some of the other things that kind of thing.
[00:05:09] So Mama Dragons has mostly lived in a Facebook group that's basically where most of the action has happened. And over the last little while over the last year it became a 501 c3 nonprofit. And so, there are more programs involved with what we do now. We have education programs but I think our main strength is as the support group. So, we our mission is to support educate and empower women so we do have some education aspects to it especially with suicide prevention.
[00:05:47] Right.
[00:05:49] And then yes, we have the blog. We have a Twitter feed. We have an Instagram account and. You don't even think what else we've got.
[00:06:00] And we actually have different groups within Mama Dragons. So, and what we've been emphasizing probably in the last year is to get smaller regional groups where women can get together in a smaller atmosphere where they can talk and get to know each other and actually become more of a support system.
[00:06:20] So if maybe people are feeling a little nervous they with a big whole state organization. They can go in and find like their Southern Utah or their central right whatever.
[00:06:31] Right.
[00:06:32] I think I saw that those are all available on the Web site so you can get involved a little more regionally if you want to stay close at home or if you want to get involved on a larger scale.
[00:06:43] First they will have you go through joining through the main group just because we want to protect the mothers. Some moms are and their children aren't necessarily out. And so, we want to make sure that we protect the children first.
[00:07:00] And the security I mean for anybody listening who may be thinking like what sounds like something I really want to know about and I really need but I'm nervous about the privacy and the security. Can you talk a little bit about that for any potential listeners who may be nervous about getting involved?
[00:07:20] Sure. So, we have a like a vetting process where we get to know the moms we message them back and forth and learn about them. We do a little checking online with their Facebook feed and before they're added to the group so we try to make sure it's a good fit. It's not a good fit for everyone. And obviously we're just for moms and. And so, if it doesn't feel like a comfortable fit for some people will refer them to other groups. So that's kind of the process. I mean there's a lot to it but I don't do that part.
[00:07:59] Yeah.
[00:08:00] And then in terms of the privacy aspect can somebody they can't really participate anonymously right you know develop that relationship.
[00:08:10] Yeah right.
[00:08:11] But it's probably a pretty protected because I know one of the topics that's come when we talk we've been talking a lot about being members of the church and this kind of thing if somebody wants to get involved but it's a little nervous about word getting out. I mean what do you offer to them.
[00:08:30] So it used to be that in a closed group you could look and see who the members were in the group. But Facebook has recently changed the settings for that. So, moms that don't want to be identified publicly as a Mama Dragons because their child doesn't doubt or they aren't out as an ally. No one can search to find if they're in a group.
[00:08:52] OK.
[00:08:53] And everything that happens in the group cannot be taken outside of the group. We have our guidelines that you know there's no like screen shotting and sharing to other groups if any that is found out. Then we immediately remove those people from the group.
[00:09:10] So it's very we're very protective of our moms.
[00:09:14] Yeah, we do our best and obviously anytime you're on even if it's a private forum there is a chance that something will get out. So, you just have to be use your best judgment and.
[00:09:27] But there are precautions.
[00:09:28] Yeah yeah.
[00:09:30] which is Really nice.
[00:09:31] And that maybe is what I think is a stronger point on the smaller regional groups because you can just call someone up and go to lunch with them and have a conversation face to face or just some smaller where you can maybe share some more personal parts of your journey.
[00:09:48] Right. And so, and so the group also has some other subgroups too. And I know people may be interested in hearing about those. Can you talk a little bit about those groups?
[00:09:59] So we have one group that is specifically for mothers of transgender kids and that's any kid that fits under the transgender umbrella which could be nonbinary or just gender nonconforming or any version of trans and then we have a group for moms trying to stay which is for moms who want to remain close to their religious roots in their spiritual community. And then we have a group called mamas moving forward that is mainly for women who are cutting ties with their religious roots and looking for support as they do that in the context of their LGBTQ child.
[00:10:46] Right. And so, there's a lot of different a lot of different opportunities for people who are seeking out that support which is great. So how long has the group been... do you know?
[00:10:59] The Facebook group I think was started about 2014.
[00:11:04] OK.
[00:11:04] But the name originates from 2012 so the message group started earlier that.
[00:11:10] It's such a fantastic concept. I mean you know I mean we all know mama bear and all this but the dragon. And it's the time everybody is in the game of thrones idea of this fierce support and this fierce warrior for the children.
[00:11:29] And I have to say Meg the woman who she is a fierce warrior for any child and it doesn't just have to be hers.
[00:11:38] And did I hear earlier. There is there is an option or us or something developing for fathers as well.
[00:11:46] Oh yes there is dragon dads. It's a smaller group but they've been around almost as long as the Mama Dragons I think. And so, dads that are interested they can probably contact through the website and get some more information about that dragons.
[00:12:03] And then they are a separate group.
[00:12:05] It is separate.
[00:12:06] But anybody listening who's not a mom but I definitely want to support so that there as well. Well great. Well as usual I have lots of songs to play. The first song I am going to play is a song called Brave by Sarah Bareilles And it's just a kind of a good thing to lead us in here today for Valentine's Day. So, you're listening KSUU Thunder 91.1
[00:16:09] OK well welcome back everyone. You're listening to the A.P.E.X Hour KSUU Thunder 91.1. And We have the Mama Dragons in today. So welcome back to you guys. And we've been talking about the organization but one of the things that strikes me from the site is that the organization is built on stories you know and built on the stories of families and built on the stories of mothers and their children. So, I would love for you guys to share your stories. I know you did earlier at the event today. There were so moving and lead us to such great conversation so I would love to hear your stories on the radio.
[00:16:52] OK well I'll start. About three years ago a little before that we were worried that we were losing our oldest child and she was very unhappy. Very depressed and had stopped socializing with any of her friends and we tried lots of different things to try and help her. It was right at the time that she started intermediate school and you know that that early adolescence is a really rough period anyway. But.
[00:17:26] How long of it I mean when did was it a long period where you started to notice these things and...
[00:17:31] Over The course of about a year a year and a half of something like that. We were watching her like withdraw from the family withdraw from her friends. She stopped hanging out with anybody and she started failing classes in school which she's incredibly brilliant. So that was just so puzzling to us we couldn't understand what her struggle was.
[00:17:56] And how about. Because I know you have other children as well. And were they noticing also at the same time.
[00:18:03] There was kind of it was kind of like just known in the family that Cindy wasn't going to participate in whatever we did. Like she just. Well everyone except for Cindy you know like it was just kind of they just knew that she was just going to be.
[00:18:19] Right.
[00:18:19] You know on her own and grumpy about everything we did.
[00:18:23] Right. Right.
[00:18:24] And so yeah. And then we when we found out that she was she felt she was transgender. It was really hard for us because it didn't really fit into our world view. But it did make a lot of sense as to why she was so depressed.
[00:18:42] Right. And so.
[00:18:44] And did she come. I mean did she come to you all at once or was it more gradual or.
[00:18:49] She didn't come to us at all. So, we kind of found out we found out through the school counselor who called us with an anonymous tip. And he actually didn't know this portion of it. But he was concerned about some behavior he was hearing about. And so, we started looking through her text messages with her friends and that's how we found out.
[00:19:15] Oh wow.
[00:19:16] And we waited for her to come to us for a little while and then and then when she didn't we finally we were really concerned about her because she was kind of in a bad place. And and so we finally confronted her and, in some ways, it was really really hard for her. In others it was a real relief.
[00:19:35] Yeah. And then were you. I mean I'm just. Were you already prepared for the conversation or was it just we have to figure out what's going on then. Well I mean had you already started your process of preparing.
[00:19:49] A little bit. We didn't have any resources to educate ourselves. None at all. And so, all we knew were like the cultural stereotypes and those types of things. And and because we weren't very educated we weren't sure if this was a phase or if this was a real thing even. And So, in the beginning we knew that we just needed to express our love to her so that's where we started. We love you. We don't we don't know how to help you but we're going to figure it out and we'll be by your side the whole time.
[00:20:24] That's beautiful.
[00:20:26] Yeah. So that's where we started. And then it took us several months to find any resources for educating ourselves. And then once we did start educating ourselves it was clear that we were going to need help.
[00:20:42] Right.
[00:20:42] Because we did not we could not do this on our own and it was really hard to find anyone else in our same situation.
[00:20:49] Right.
[00:20:50] I was reaching out nationally and found some wonderful national groups but they couldn't understand the most important piece which was the intersection of our faith with Cindy's LGBTQ identity.
[00:21:07] Right.
[00:21:07] And so it wasn't until I found Mama Dragons that I really felt like I had a tribe. People that understood where I was coming from and where I was going with my support of my daughter.
[00:21:22] Wow that's really amazing. And then through Mama Dragons you were able to get more resources and find more resources. And I know the faith component is something we've been talking a lot about today and we can maybe talk about a little bit more later but it's beautiful to hear how you just instantly went to the perspective of love and that we'll figure it out. Well we'll figure it out for our family. And all from love which is incredible.
[00:21:49] Thank you.
[00:21:50] And Lisa how about your story.
[00:21:52] Well one thing you said about stories being so powerful and such a big part of Mama Dragons. It really is. And we learn from each other's stories and I feel like that's where we make progress as we share our stories and share them with each other. We as a big group we see threads that kind of are similar. Going through our stories and so it helps us maybe to do better on some in some degree and even I have a gay son. But being able to hear the stories of parents with moms with transgender children there's so much I learned in that. Or children who are intersex. All of these things I just feel like the stories are how we learn and I think we learn a lot better through them. But my son who is now 29 I hope you're 29 Jordan. When he was about four years old I was outside playing with them and out of really out of nowhere. I just had a voice say Jordan's gay which was so I was not thinking about my 4-year old's sexual identity at all.
[00:23:02] That's just so amazing. So, you just were outside.
[00:23:05] I was outside.
[00:23:07] You Just heard something
[00:23:07] This in you know like not voicing out loud like that. But it was in my head that strong way that I actually turned around and went Wait a minute. What was that. Why. Where did that come from.
[00:23:20] Yeah I. So, at that point I didn't know Jordan was gay. I ...the Thought of it scared me not because I didn't grow up in a homophobic environment at all but what scared me is that I now was living in a small conservative community. And what did that mean for my child if he happened to be.
[00:23:43] Right.
[00:23:43] So for the next. Now you have to understand Jordan didn't really come out till he was 23 so I had a long period of time where I really was able to study and you know observe I did a lot of observing and I listened to people's opinions about things and I just would kind of listen. I did a lot of listening and observing for that many years.
[00:24:06] So you sort of educated yourself privately but did you. You didn't talk with him.
[00:24:11] I didn't. Which you know now as I look back I think I was that was kind of a lame way to do it. But it was one thing I didn't really, he didn't have any stereotypical mannerisms that I would say oh yes, he is or not I just didn't know. But I did think of something that was really important to me was the fact that whether he was or he wasn't. It really didn't matter because somebody whose child was right.
[00:24:37] Right.
[00:24:38] And whether I happen to be the mom of one or not it didn't really matter at that point. So, I had come to my own conclusions and Jordan came out to me when he was 23 which was a wonderful situation. It was terrifying for him sadly. It was terrifying for him. He didn't worry that his family wouldn't accept him. I don't think. But it's just a scary thing to do.
[00:25:08] Right.
[00:25:08] And I never understood the depths of that fear you know. And so, I've learned a lot as anyway he came out and but he didn't want to tell our family all of us. He just told his mom me.
[00:25:23] Very interesting.
[00:25:24] But for so for five months I just knew and nobody else did. But my eldest daughter had her suspicions and finally kind of cornered me. She lived in Texas at the time and she kind of pushed me in and I danced around it a little bit and then finally she asked me point blank if he was and I said yes but now that you know you need to call him.
[00:25:46] Yeah.
[00:25:46] Because I didn't want there to be this hidden thing happening. And so, the next day she called him and is totally supportive and loving. And it really gave him the confidence that night. He wrote an e-mail to his family which he sent. And it was just the opening of a really amazing wonderful beautiful time in our family. Like there was a distance that was being created. Jordan had just naturally sort of distanced himself a little bit. I could feel it. And I think we're all starting to feel it. And as soon as he came out that distance was gone. I mean we were back together and the replies from his family to that e-mail were so beautiful and you know encouraging and loving and inclusive and all the good that it just changed everything for him and it opened up his. He could just be Jordan now instead of you know whatever he was trying to hide. But so, my story really became the fact that after this happened I had shared his e-mail with another Facebook group that had been in and I was asked by one of the doctors in that group whether we would share it publicly. The reaction from all of our family because it was a positive story.
[00:27:09] Such a great role model for a positive outcome.
[00:27:11] He Wanted some positive things to be out there and I couldn't quite understand it I just wasn't involved enough to really understand that the need for that. That there is a way to you know have everybody really go on in a good progressive way. But so long story short he our story was published on a blog called No more strangers. And when it went live my phone just blew up and I had so many private messages and so many so many things that I didn't realize I thought I was alone in a little town. Yeah and just within a few miles radius of me what was happening and the fear and you know the doubts and just people needing support and it just really opened my eyes to how big this is and how terrified people are. And it's been a really good experience and a very eye-opening experience for me too.
[00:28:10] Well that's one of the things that both of you mentioned earlier too is the feeling alone when you first encountered this and first words dealing with it in your family you feel like it's your alone for various reasons. I'm sure everybody you know has different reasons but that there is that that lonely thing in both of your stories as a way of sharing with people that that you're not alone.
[00:28:37] Right.
[00:28:37] And I think that's one of the really beautiful things that the organization really helps with you know so that regardless of you know faith or culture and all those things there are people going through exactly what you're going through and can help you know. So that's really beautiful. Time for another musical break. I love me some lady gaga and the song that I'm going to play for you today is off of her newest album Joanne and it's a song called Angel down which is just a really powerful anthem of sorts. And so, we'll listen to that now.
[00:33:02] So we're going to welcome back Rachel and Lisa two of our Mama Dragons talking about their fierce support of their children and the topic that we wanted to get involved with now is some of the more specific ways that you offer support not just to your own children but to the network of children that you're interacting with in the organization. So, I'd love to hear about some of these things that you were just telling me over the break.
[00:33:36] There are because there are so many of us all over the country. We often tap each other for support. Like for instance Lisa was talking about when a kid goes to college and say hey my kid is you know heading to SUU. Does anybody live there. What can we expect there? Can you watch out for my kid?
[00:34:01] That's... I mean just that in and of itself is so I mean I can imagine what it's like as a mom sending your child off and especially if you know that they're you're not sure. I mean everybody's worried about how their child's going to get along and everything and to be able to reach out and sort of see how a university environment is really amazing.
[00:34:22] Right. Which we're actually very happy about SUU By the way. they Really get great reports.
[00:34:28] You get good reports within Mama Dragons so that's good.
[00:34:31] So happy to hear that.
[00:34:32] I think one of the most beautiful things that I've witnessed in Mama Dragons is when there are just wonderful women who want to help and love each other and we wish there wasn't a need for a Mama Dragons organization that would be our number one goal. You know I would we'd all be thrilled.
[00:34:53] So I mean as much as the community has been wonderful to develop right wouldn't it be great to not have it happen.
[00:35:00] And there are many times there's many individuals whose for whatever reason and their varied their parents or their natural support system is no longer there for them and they may be older. And there are a lot of moms who kind of end up with more children in a form now in a way. And we have something that's been it just kind of evolved from the very beginning and somebody would say send out a bat signal is what we'd call it. And there would be a situation or crisis that we could step in and help with whether somebody's own child or whatever the case was. And friend of their child friend or whatever is happening just having such a big network across the country has been invaluable. So that's been fun. And the other thing that we have been able to do is connect ourselves with some of the different organizations because there are circumstances unfortunately that children Are no longer allowed at their home and they may be under age. Well a mom's first reaction within this group is really I mean we'll take us. You want to take children in. Well they're under age. It's actually illegal. And so, we work really closely as far as in Utah with an organization called Youth Futures which is a shelter for homeless youth from 11 to 18.
[00:36:32] Yeah.
[00:36:32] So we tried to. All of us have our best intentions but sometimes we aren't the best source. And whether it's with medical help, therapist and those kinds of things you know we're just not trained in all these different. So, we sort of are learning our strengths and our purpose. So that's why we really are focusing on supporting the parent educating and empowering them. And so, from there they can go out and either how if they become really an activist in this situation that's one thing we have such a spectrum of people and the way that they do it and how they know. But our first thing is we want all mothers' fathers' siblings to support their child and love them first.
[00:37:27] Yeah that's really just a beautiful message and so important. And do you find that you're in a position. Do you have a network of let's say somebody is looking to get involved in therapy and they want to find a doctor? I mean is that something they can find through Mama Dragons.
[00:37:46] Right now we're working on a resource directory. We do have some regional resource directories. But right now, as we're building that resource we do more reference you know girls, word of mouth.
[00:38:03] This is a conversation.
[00:38:04] we will have conversations about you know these are the things that my child is struggling with her. These are the medical interventions that we need. Who do you recommend. Who's worked well for you or what you know what drugs have worked well for these things or you know et cetera. And then we can really like reach out in a really organic way and say OK this is great. And we do have therapists within the group and we and at least one doctor and so we can always refer to them when there is a question that we don't know the answer to. You know as we as Lisa said we don't we aren't always the best resource.
[00:38:48] and I you guys we were talking about how often you go and speak and that that's not that doesn't happen that often more it's sort of the boots on the ground. Does having a meal with somebody or sharing your time with somebody and that kind of thing would you say that's more often what happens.
[00:39:06] Yeah yeah, we have quarterly Regional meetings or at least that's what we aim for. And really, it's often just more like it's been a while let's get together or somebody says oh my gosh this just happened or my kid just came out to their friends and were trained to deal with this parent. That's you know raising a ruckus and then we all get together and you know brainstorm together give each other support.
[00:39:32] Right.
[00:39:32] Well we celebrate things together. It's really fun we will you know if there's a wedding if there's. It's just nice to have a group or you can share your joy with and not really worry about anybody's reaction in such a joyous time as a wedding or engagement or something like.
[00:39:56] My favorite posts have been like the prom pictures.
[00:39:59] Yeah.
[00:40:00] Of the kids with their dates that moms don't want to post on they're on their private Facebook page because they don't want backlash from people in their communities and just the joy and how fun and creative and crazy and awesome these kids are like. It's really an enjoyable time of year.
[00:40:18] And that kind of goes to one of the other topics that we've been talking about quite a bit today and that is the individualism of how you choose to navigate your life. I mean. And these issues especially compared with what we've been talking a lot about the faith and doctrine and this kind of thing. And I just wondered if there was any more to that conversation that we've been having about how it seems that the group really supports an individualized process and an individualized determination or interpretation. Can you talk a little bit about that that desire for individuality if that's really the kind of the answer as it pertains to doctrine and particularly religious doctrine? You know for the group or for you.
[00:41:16] Well it's definitely our goal to support everybody where they're at. I mean that is a goal and it's not always easy. A big group is not always a one size fits all. In fact, it's not at all that we have...and Those can be difficult conversations. But they're very important. And my feeling my personal opinion is we need people everywhere we need them inside their faith traditions and we need them outside their faith traditions wherever it leads you to wherever you feel like you need to be that is probably where you need to be I think.
[00:41:58] Yeah.
[00:41:58] And I mean the common thread in Mama Dragons is our love and our support for our kids and that we will breathe fire for them.
[00:42:05] Right.
[00:42:06] But other than that we are quite diverse.
[00:42:10] Right.
[00:42:11] All the way across the spectrum we have every religion we have and every version of Religious roots and atheism and you know everywhere we're all over the board and how we how we navigate those differences in beliefs you know is generally very organic and just with a lot of openness and a lot of honesty and holding space for other people and where they are.
[00:42:44] One of the interesting things I think that came out of the discussion today was that the spectrum of you know ways to navigate. And I think that that's really quite interesting because I think one of the things that we were saying at lunch is there is perhaps an impression particularly in Utah that there's just only one way to maybe think or do or believe and it seems that what I'm what I'm hearing is that there's a much sort of broader range that is that would you say that's accurate.
[00:43:20] Many of us as we start this journey with our kids begin to look at different doctrine in a different way we interpret it in a different way in order to make it fit into what we believe and what we know of our own children. Because. The way we interpret it interpreted it before may not have fit with what we now know about our kids. And so oftentimes we will interpret things a little bit different way and then at times it just becomes too uncomfortable too to hold our space within our faith tradition. And so, at that point you may take a break or you may you know just leave.
[00:44:09] And I think it's really important for us to allow people their way and be like I just haven't seen one way that works.
[00:44:22] Right.
[00:44:22] And I think for the safety of our children. Some really want to be within their. Traditional faith community and others it's not safe for them. They for reasons you know all different reasons.
[00:44:43] This reminds me I remember one Mama Dragons who joined us who was is not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but her children are and she joined Mama Dragons so that she could figure out how to make it safe for her kids to be both. And I just thought that was fascinating that you know she wasn't this wasn't her faith tradition but she knew that it was going to be a challenge for her kids. And she wanted to hold you know be in that space with them to help them navigate it.
[00:45:16] That's one of the things that's so beautiful about the organization is the desire to. I mean it seems like one of the great missions the desire to help people navigate these particular complexities. You know it's just really fascinating.
[00:45:29] It is it's fascinating to watch it. It's been fascinating to watch it evolve as we've gotten so much bigger. and with that comes challenges trying to keep it a place where people can come in their newly they're new to this whole new situation with their child. And they don't you know they haven't been educated on a lot of things so there are possibilities of them saying something that can be sound harsh to those of us who've been doing this for a long time. But we have to remember that many of us were in the same place and.
[00:46:09] We were there once too.
[00:46:12] But at the same time we also do have LGBTQIA members who are in the group as mothers but they are also part of that community. And so that that can be you know.
[00:46:26] It can sometimes be painful.
[00:46:28] Yeah it can. So, it's not all easy and I say this all the time but I'm really so thankful for our moderators on these because they do the best that they can. And it's not a perfect fit for everyone. And we realize that and hopefully my goal my personal one is just to get people into a good place where they can begin to move forward and it's a tragedy to me that families don't get to know their whole child.
[00:47:03] Right.
[00:47:03] Out of fear for whatever reason if they're and it takes so much courage for these kids and individuals and they're not all kids when they come out. I mean my son was 23 but the courage it takes for them to just be their authentic self is amazing. And it's so cool to watch it happen and to watch families thrive. And they should be thriving. I mean that's what I think. I want to get across is this is a great thing you know you'll get to know your child. And it might be good to assume that you probably will either know someone or your child. So, start thinking about it. Time to start thinking about it now I think.
[00:47:47] Yeah absolutely. One thing I mentioned to one of the students that I spoke with after our talk today was that one of the great strengths of being in a group like this is that we can say those dumb things that could hurt our kid but we can say them to someone else.
[00:48:08] I see.
[00:48:09] And not hurt our child with our ignorance and then learn and go back to work out with greater ability to support and love and affirm. As she was saying you know my parents just keep seeing these things and they said well they just need someone else to say it to.
[00:48:30] Yeah right. Well that's really cool. I have one more song to play and it's a song called raise you up. It's from Kinky Boots but it's just you know raise you up it's just kind of got that great message here today for Valentine's Day and you're listening to KSUU Thunder 91.1 This is raise you up.
[00:55:00] Yeah that's a party. Oh my gosh. So welcome back to the A.P.E.X Hour That was raised you up from the original Broadway recording of Kinky Boots here on Valentine's Day on KSUU Thunder 91.1 We have Lisa and Rachel from the Mama Dragons here and we're just back for our little quick bit. My favorite part which we do every week which is what's turning you on this week and they could be anything it could be a book or movie or TV show or food or podcasts. We have how to run the gamut. So, I'd like to ask you Mama Dragons what's turning you on this week.
[00:55:41] This is a tough choice. I think I'm going to have to say this is sad to admit but I'm finally watching Strangers Things with my husband.
[00:55:51] Oh my gosh.
[00:55:53] So that is what I am obsessed with at the moment.
[00:55:56] And which season are you on.
[00:55:58] I'm in the middle of season 2.
[00:56:02] They both were. It's only been two I think.
[00:56:04] Yeah.
[00:56:05] It was. It's just such a hit.
[00:56:07] Oh it is. And for good reason it's well made.
[00:56:10] Yeah. That's so cool. OK great. And how about you Lisa what's turning you on tis week.
[00:56:16] I Just want to do the grandma thing and tell you about my grandchildren because I have a microphone in front of me like.
[00:56:23] Sure
[00:56:24] Actually I've just been watching little Instagrams of my little grandbabies and I'm heading up this weekend to go to Wicked with a couple of my granddaughters and another newborn grandbaby so that's pretty happy.
[00:56:38] Oh my gosh. You must love having them around.
[00:56:41] It's a good way to have kids.
[00:56:43] Because then they leave right.
[00:56:44] As soon as they start making a mess then you can say bye bye.
[00:56:49] I make the mess with them and then We all leave.
[00:56:53] What ages are they.
[00:56:55] Oh my. We have 13.
[00:56:57] Oh my gosh.
[00:56:58] 10 8 5 and 2 and. About a month.
[00:57:06] Wow. You're just covering the gambit there.
[00:57:08] Oh wait I think I missed it. Oh, wait I missed one. So sorry. We have a 4-month-old and.
[00:57:13] You might as well enjoy every moment.
[00:57:17] That's right. Yeah, we can be Grandma dragons too.
[00:57:20] Yeah exactly right. That's exactly it.
[00:57:23] Well cool. I'd like to just officially say thank you so very much for coming and spending the time today and just being so warm and open with your story and just getting this great dialogue happening on campus. Thank you so much for coming. I really appreciate it.
[00:57:40] Well thanks for having us. And thanks for keeping this conversation going. It's important.
[00:57:44] Well it's definitely important. And again, if you're interested in finding out more about Mama Dragons just get that Google on and find Mama Dragons There's so many resources available. So many stories and if you want to get involved there's a join us portion of the site and you can start that that conversation going. So. All right well we are signing off this week and I will look forward to seeing you all next time. Happy Valentine's Day.
[00:58:16] Thanks so much for listening to the A.P.E.X Hour here on KSUU Thunder 91.1 Come find us again next Thursday at 3:00p.m. for more conversations with the visiting guests at Southern Utah University. And new music to discover for your next playlist. And in the meantime, we would love to see you at our events on campus. Find out more check out suu.edu/apex. Until next week. This Lynn Vartan saying goodbye from the A.P.E.X Hour here on Thunder 91.1
